Zetsuai does Titanic
by Ayumie
Summary: What happens if the Zetsuai cast were to star in the movie 'Titanic? Or rather, what would happen had they been on the Titanic? Read this and find out...
1. Part I

Author's notes:  
  
No idea how I got myself into writing this story. Looking back I suspect a tragic combination of liquor and jazz. No, wait, wrong movie. Anyway, consider yourself warned: what follows is utter silliness that bears little resemblance to either Zetsuai or Titanic. If that is your thing, enjoy! And don't hesitate to give feedback - it's my bread, butter and chocolate.  
  
Ayumie  
  
ZETSUAI DOES TITANIC  
  
Jack Dawson - Koji (I'm not such a sissy!) Nanjo  
  
Rose DeWitt Beaucater - Takuto (why do I have to wear a dress?) Izumi  
  
Caldon Hawkley - Hirose (but nobody is allowed to touch me!) Nanjo  
  
Caldon's little known because psychopathic brother - Akihito Nanjo  
  
Mr. Lovejoy - Kurauchi (whose first name isn't known - at least not to me)  
  
Fabrizio - Katsumi - how am I supposed to imitate this accent?) - Shibuya  
  
Rose's mother - Izumi's mother  
  
Molly Brown - Toshiyuki - (is all of that really necessary?) Takasaka  
  
The orchestra - Koji's band  
  
Everyone else (especially Eri Ijima) - drowning people  
  
Part I  
  
Koji, who had forced the unsuspecting Katsumi into a game of poker with a few loafers from Shinjuku, took a bored look at the clock. If only he could win at least one game! Finally the impatient singer decided it wasn't worth the effort, beat the men up and simply stole their tickets. They had promised to force Izumi into one of those skimpy cocktail dresses and he'd be damned if he wasted any more time! The cocktail dress on the other hand, had been a clever lie of the directress, who had to somehow get the admittedly stubborn rock-star to cooperate. What Izumi really was wearing, was an expensive, floor-length robe - that is, what little was left of it. Reenacting the soccer match Tohou versus Nankatsu with a group of camera men had reduced the formerly exclusive garment into a state that defied description. Well, a least the dirty, torn piece of cloth matched the mood of its wearer.  
  
Hirose sighed as he got aware of the other's facial expression, looking at his chauffeur for help. Kurauchi, however, was quite busy making sure that the trunk that Akihito was being transported in didn't fall off the car - not that it would have mattered much. Finally the oldest Nanjo brother managed to help Izumi out of the car as the script dictated. The other didn't even resist as much as expected (after all, who would like to be in one car with Akihito?!) and so they finally managed to board the ship while the waving people at the docks were glad to at last be rid of those crazy Nanjos. Koji, who had gotten on his way almost an hour early, was in the meanwhile waiting in his beloved's cabin. In the original script such a scene hadn't occurred but at the threat of physical violence the directress saw it fit to make some . changes.  
  
As Izumi finally entered his suite he was ready to kill for a few minutes of peace. Too bad he wasn't going to get it.  
  
"Izumi, darling, finally you are here! I have been missing so much! How long have we been separated? Ten, twenty minutes?"  
  
"YOU?! What are you doing here? The script says I'm supposed to look at some paintings."  
  
"Well, I was thinking we could speed things up a little. We should do the drawing scene immediately. Come on, get undressed! Just think about it, in the original movie they only get to do it one, single time. If we act according to my plan we could have sex up to 50 times!"  
  
"Can you even draw? And what is this thing about getting undressed? And sex? What the hell are you even talking about?!"  
  
Izumi, who was too tired to as much as yell at Koji, leaved listlessly through his script. The directress, who had wisely edited these passages from Izumi's version of the book, ran screaming into the room to prevent a catastrophe. With the help of the supporting staff Koji was eventually brought to where he was supposed to be - the bow of the ship. There he is said to have dropped the remark that he regretted not having brought his gun - the dolphins down there were looking tasty.  
  
Shortly after sundown a coughing Izumi, whose experience with the cigarette had obviously not been good for him, came running outside. Out of breath and more than a little nauseated he finally reached the railing where he once more bumped into Koj.  
  
"Beloved, finally you are here! Is it time for the scene where I heroically rush to your aid? I have been waiting for 3 hours in the cold. Are my lips blue? Is my hair in place?"  
  
"Aid? What are you now talking about? I'm just here because that damned cigarette made me sick. Fucking script! Fucking movie!"  
  
"But the script say that now you are going to threaten to jump off the ship and drown yourself in the icy tides!"  
  
"I?! Down there?! Forget it, next month the soccer championships are coming up and I can't afford to get sick, let alone die."  
  
"Ok, if you say so. I don't mind getting to land on you right away. Maybe we'll even have a little time to."  
  
"You?! On me?! I think I'd rather jump after all."  
  
In the next second Izumi was on the wrong side of the railing and Koji, his often worn suffering expression firmly in place, kept declaring his love in the hope of luring him back. A he saw that his words were getting him nowhere singer simply grabbed his beloved's skirt, forcibly pulling him back. This, however, caused a new dilemma. Izumi, who had been supposed to land on the floor and beneath Koji was still standing and quite obviously alright. The lovesick rock-star really didn't have a choice. An ecstatic smile on his face he slowly forced his beloved to the ground, all the while kissing his beautiful body.  
  
"Koji! Koji, stop it! This . this isn't in the script!"  
  
As if that interested the other. Naïve as Izumi was it took him several minutes and the top of his dress to come up with the most obvious solution - yelling for help. Fortunately (at least from Izumi's point of view) this was exactly what he was supposed ot do so it didn't take long for somebody to arrived. People pulled the crazy singer off him, freeing a breathless and thoroughly flustered Izumi. For the sake of the storyline - and for that of their own help - everybody accepted Koij's explanations despite their reported lack of credibility. Izumi, who kept shouting the truth, found himself ignored. 


	2. Part II

Part II  
  
On deck: As always Koji had shown up a few hours early, which he however used to get acquainted with the actresses. As Izumi eventually arrived the wayward rock-star was surrounded by half-naked females, dozens of visiting cards in his hands. Pouting the soccer player sat down in one of the deckchairs and wished for the umpteenths time that he had brought his soccer ball – or at least a frying pan – along. As Koji joined him a few minutes later – he had told the girls that he had a brother who looked exactly like him and who was waiting in his cabin – Izumi's listlessness had long since turned into fury.  
  
"Get lost, idiot! I don't want to see your hentai drawings!"  
  
"Hentai drawings? I am here to prove my love for you and maybe have a little fun."  
  
"But weren't you supposed to show me some, well ... drawings?"  
  
"I only have these."  
  
Koji held up the paper clips with the phone numbers, which turned out to be a mistake as Izumi grabbed them and threw them into the sea.  
  
"You're really a very talented artist, Mr. Nanjo. Now get off my deck, I need the space to train."  
  
"Hey, wait a sec! We should at least say the rest of our text!"  
  
Grumbling, Izumi agreed and in the next few minutes everything actually seemed to proceed according to the script.  
  
"Blahblahblah, to spit like a man - that's ridiculous, my spitting is perfectly fine – blahblahblah, to chew tobacco like a man – and that after even one cigarette made me sick – blahblahblah, to ride like a man-"  
  
"Sure! Here and now, if you want to!"  
  
Mere seconds later a cursing Izumi went back into his suite. From under a physically impossible looking mount of deck chairs a weak moan emerged.  
  
Later Koji plundered the buffet in the near empty dining room, telling himself that if he had to go and see his murderous beloved he might as well do so with a full stomach. After all there was no guarantee he's still be able to eat afterwards. The singers worries were unfounded as Izumi, whom somebody had forced into a corset and high-heels, could barely walk, let alone hurt somebody. He even had to accept Hirose's help to as much as get down the stairs. A sourly smile on his face, the soccer player finally sat down next to Koji and asked if he could at least get tea and a salad – his trainer had suggested a diet and he wasn't allowed anything else after noon. In the meanwhile Koji had discovered that Izumi's dress had zippers in the most convenient places and was now shamelessly exploiting this knowledge. Though some of the others were wondering why Izumi kept squirming in his chair and barely touched his specially prepared food, they let Koji and his endless monologues distract them.  
  
To Izumi's relief the meal was at some point over and the other pulled his thoroughly battered hand out of his pants. As he realized Koji had slipped a piece of paper saying "make-out session in half an hour at my place" into his underwear the wayward rock-star was long gone. Too bad. He'd have loved to find out whether the table was as solid as it looked. Well, that guy was entitled for the tongue-lashing of his life! That 'make-out session' would be something to remember!! Remember just in time that the script said something about dancing, the boy went back upstairs to fetch his Nikes and make sure Koji hadn't changed his mind and was waiting for him in his own bed. He'd just dress that jerk down for all it was worth; then get into bed early to save his strength for the first match of the next soccer season.  
  
As Izumi entered the great hall of the third class an unpleasant surprise was awaiting him. Nobody was there. Confused, the soccer player started to search the festivities he had been anticipating. Not even Koji was anywhere in sight and usually he couldn't even turn around without tripping over that idiot. Things were getting really creepy. Every moment expecting an attack, the frightened boy move up the deserted floor until he finally heard calls for help from several of the locked rooms. Apparently somebody had locked all the actors and the rest of the staff into empty props rooms. But who would do such a thing? And why? Finally he found a door that wasn't locked and Izumi, who as we all no isn't the cleverest person in such situations, immediately opened it.  
  
"Izumi! Finally you are here! I was already thinking that you'd got lost on the way."  
  
Within the split of a second a confused Izumi found himself on the king- sized bed, the only escape route – the door – blocked by Koji's heavy body. What in the name of God was going on?! This couldn't possibly be a Third Class cabin! As always unaware of the danger he was in, Izumi started to ask the questions that had been on his mind all along.  
  
"What is going on? Did they change the script again? Where are the Irish folk songs? Where are the dancers? At least I hope now I won't have to do that ridiculous ballet thing..."  
  
"Oh, don't be sad, love – I'll make you forget all about it."  
  
Slowly even Izumi caught up with the situation however by now escape was next to impossible. Then Koji's warm lips were pressed onto his and his hands roamed the bronze-skinned youth's slender body. Things would have ended badly for our poor soccer player had not Hirose sent Kurauchi to obtain the recipe for the shrimp cocktail that he had had yesterday at an after show party at Izumi's place. And now Kurauchi was standing in front of the door through which he could hear the voice of the boy and though he felt uncomfortable about intruding into what wqas obviously private moment he didn't want to keep his beloved Hirose-sama waiting. He entered, the fact that the door had been locked, only a minor obstacle.  
  
Izumi, who realized that now the escape route was free, shoved Koji away, the latter staring unbelieving at the intruder. Using one hand to hold his torn dress together, Izumi rushed past Kurauchi before he had a chance to voice his request. Once Koji got a grip on himself the room was deserted. Bereft of the chance to beat up the impertinent guy who had dared to interrupt his seducing of his Izumi – he knew he had seen him before but couldn't quite place him – the forlorn rock-star called after his beloved.  
  
"Izumi, don't run away! This is a ship – you can't escape me anyway!"  
  
After that he was quite busy escaping the angry mob Izumi had released from his prison. 


	3. Part III

Part3  
  
In the next morning Izumi was having breakfast, disinterestedly leaving through the latest sports magazines. He would have done better reading the script for then he'd have known what was coming and could have turned tail in time. As things were it came as it had to come and the boy looked up in surprise as suddenly Hirose and Kurauchi were looming over him.  
  
"Ok, well, I had hoped that you would come and see me yesterday evening."  
  
"Huh? What are you saying? What is this all about?"  
  
"It's in the script. We are supposed to – how did they put it? – have a heated argument."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Because you are my fiancée and were with another man for the better part of the night."  
  
Hirose was starting to wonder whether the other had read the script at all. Maybe it'd be better to just jump a few lines. With an unnerved sigh, Izumi put down his magazine – he had been reading a really interesting article about Kojiro Hyuga – and now that. But if it was absolutely necessary he would play along. As things seemed he didn't have to say much anyway. Bored he listened for a while to Hirose's monologues yet only as the other gestured for his bodyguard did he start to pay attention. That didn't sound good. Threatening, even. Alarmed the got to his feet and backed up a few steps.  
  
"Kurauchi, could you please turn over the table? Yes, just as the script says."  
  
Turning to Izumi:  
  
"You must excuse that I don't do it myself but I avoid physical violence whenever possible."  
  
Izumi could barely rescue his precious magazine before the table crashed to the ground. Well, HE certainly wouldn't clean away that mess! After all he was traveling first class. But at least Hirose had said something about never seeing Koji again so hopefully he's see to it that that maniac left him alone – he only kept him from his training anyway. Talking about training, wasn't it time fir a round of soccer? Relieved to be able to escaped the tense atmosphere of his quarters, the boy went up onto deck. Thanks to a missing row of lifeboats there was enough space to workout. Almost enough space. After shooting the third ball into the sea Izumi decided to call it a day. Little did he know that as the devil – or rather the directress – wants, he would run into Koji who promptly dragged him into a isolated room.  
  
"Izumi! I was so worried when you suddenly disappeared. Did that guy hurt you? He will pay for it, that I swear!"  
  
"Disappeared?! I ran because you once again acted like Rambo and assaulted me!!"  
  
"Oh, that doesn't matter. But you mustn't marry my brother!"  
  
"What? Why would I marry that arrogant prig? Even you would be better."  
  
"But the script says so. I have read the whole first page. And of course all the interesting scenes later on but we'll come to that later. At any rate you mustn't marry Hirose and escape the gilded cage you are trapped in."  
  
Proud to have discerned the meaning of a whole paragraph that had absolutely nothing to do with sex, Koji looked at his lover, seeking his approval.  
  
"Well, if that's your problem you might as well leave. I'm not going to stay here anywhere. I'll only finish this last season and the go to Europe to become a pro. As you see everything is quite alright."  
  
Clearly in shock Koji stared at Izumi. Alright? Nothing was alright! His beloved Izumi was going to leave him. That mustn't happen and there was only one way to keep him from going – he had to have sex with him. Here and now. Immediately. The only alternative would be to half-strangle the other and, knowing the fan-fiction writers' cruelty he wanted to wait with that for the next coma. Without further delay, the good-looking singer lapsed into one of his endless monologues on Izumi's beauty, strength etc, hoping to lull the boy into sleep so as to overwhelm him more easily. In the end the tables were turned however because while the singer still listened to himself talking, Izumi took his chance and fled. Not wanting to outlast his luck, the soccer player decided to return to his cabin and lock himself in for the rest of the evening. The hell he would do, going back on deck and give Koji the chance to initiate a lemon scene!  
  
And yet before he could lock the door behind himself destiny took the form of Hirose to stall him one more time.  
  
"Koji? So what do you want now?"  
  
"Once and for all: I. Am. Not. Koji. And I am here because the script says so, though I seem to be the only one who actually READS the damned thing. Being responsible is really hell..."  
  
"Oh, the other nutcase. So what do you want?"  
  
Izumi was getting seriously irritated. What had he ever done to deserve this? Was there a sign on his back, saying psychopaths and chronically violent people come here? But at least the other didn't have his gorilla of a bodyguard with him, so the boy felt relatively secure. For the time being, at least.  
  
"I am supposed to give you a valuable present. So here it is."  
  
Well, that was good news for a change. Delighted the boy stared at the ancient looking katana the other had pushed into his hands. And it might even come in handy! He could use it to keep the sexaholic at bay!  
  
"It has been in the family for many years so I'd appreciate getting it back the way it is now once this is over. Please use a soft rag to wipe off blood stains. Have a nice day."  
  
Relieved to have said his part, Hirose went to look for Kurauchi – he really didn't understand why Koji was all over this boy. Judging by what he had seen so far, that Izumi was a public danger.  
  
Finally said danger to every human being reached his room after all and locked the door behind him. The note on his bedside table that said to come at 8.30 pm to a private talk with his trainer, caused him some confusion. Then however Izumi saw through this clever trick. But this time he hadn't bought it! Not this time! He wouldn't set a foot through that door!  
  
In the evening Izumi's trainer, who had been especially brought in from Japan, wondered at the absence of his apprentice – he had always been so reliable before. Koji on the other hand was prepared. He had never expected for Izumi to willingly come to him and, as always when it concerned bedding his beloved, his fantasy was virtually limitless. Under the threats of massive violence the directress (who wants to file an official complaint about this treatment so it probably won't change anything), was persuaded to hand over her set of keys and by now the lovesick singer was on his way to Izumi's suite. Though he ended up in the wrong room several times and among other things let Akihito out of his wardrobe, it wasn't the way of semes hell bent on having sex to give up easily. Finally, finally, he had reached his goal He was standing in Izumi's room and this time he would be successful! The script was with him!  
  
With a scared yip the object of his desire jumped up and to the side, barely evading Koji's attempt to jump him.  
  
"Stop, stop, stop – STOP!! H-haven't you forgotten something? You have to paint me first, then we can talk."  
  
"But you said yourself that I can't paint."  
  
"Well, then you'll have keep practicing until you can!"  
  
Izumi congratulated himself for his clever argumentation. This would keep the sex-maniac busy for weeks to come. Koji angrily shifted from one foot to the other – he hadn't imagined things to go this way. But wait! If he had to paint Izumi had to sit for him – naked. Once he got Izumi out of his clothes the rest would surely follow. A malicious grin on his face, he told the boy about this term and was quite surprised as the other immediately agreed. A soft blush colored his beloved's cheeks as he, shyly smiling, whispered that yes, he would do it but he'd rather undress in another room because that was less embarrassing. That had been easier than expected! It took Koji full five minutes to realize that the door through which Izumi had left didn't lead into some antechamber but in fact out into the hallway. Cursing, he went after him and Kurauchi, who was still trying to get the recipe was once more left to swallow dust.  
  
"Why does everybody keep running away from me?! I just want the recipe for the shrimp cocktail!!"  
  
At the same time the wild chase continued in other parts of the ship – much to the regret of the people working there. Izumi, who gracefully jumped all obstacles, was a minor discomfort yet Koji, roughly pushing past people and equipment alike, lost what little friends he'd had. Finally the deranged singer managed to corner his prey in one of the cargo hold – or rather Izumi had, exhausted from the run, sought cover in a standing automobile only to discover that his refuge turned into trap once the other spotted a katana pointing out of the window. With a soft moan the soccer player writhed beneath his captor but though he pounded his hand against the window in a last attempt to break free, escape was impossible. About half and hour later a disgruntled Izumi and an obviously very self- satisfied Koji left the misused vehicle. The next person to try and ride in it was in for the hell of a surprise.  
  
TBC – soon, hopefully. And thanks for the comments *hugs* 


	4. Part IV

Part 4  
  
Akihito, delighted by his sudden freedom, was in the meanwhile looking for Hirose. He hadn't seen his aniki for almost two days in a row and he didn't think he could bear it much longer. Unfortunately Akihito is, as everybody should know, not a very practical young man and so he soon every sense of direction (as if he'd ever had any). A steward, who had the misfortune of not knowing the name Hirose Nanjo, instantly found himself in the path of Aki's fist. Only when the man lay unconscious at his feet, did it dawn to him that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. Had he done something bad again? Was the guy dead? Hirose must never find out about this! He didn't want to cause his aniki trouble. Desperately trying to think of a way to hide what he'd done, Akihito looked around and suddenly the most wonderful idea entered his mind. The ship had to sink! It really was the perfect solution – amidst all the chaos surely nobody would notice one more person missing! Laughing manically, Akihito started to chop holes into the ship's floor.  
  
[So, dear readers, let's face the sad yet undeniable truth: there is no iceberg, there was no iceberg and there has never been an iceberg. At least not in this version of the story. It was all just one big cover-up designed by Hirose who wanted to deceive the media about this newest disaster of his younger brother. Don't ask me how many millions of dollars of hush money he paid but that's the way things are.]  
  
By then Koji and Izumi had returned into their suite where they were already being expected by Hirose. Knowing that this was his last chance for a few quiet hours with Kurauchi, the latter had decided to deal with his youngest brother then and there – he'd be damned if he let that imbecile ruin this as he had ruined everything else. At any rate Koji suddenly found himself facing a band of tall, suspiciously Yakuza-esque looking Nanjo employees. What to do?! Before the confused rock- star had a chance to react, Izumi, who had "found" a pair of handcuffs, snapped them on him and chained the blonde to the wall. A rapt smile on his face, the boy threw the keys out off the window. Finally he would get some peace! Unaware of the surprised stares he was earning Izumi hummed the Captain Tsubasa theme song and happily skipped out of the room. He arrived on deck just in time to be sent sprawling by the first jolt that rocked the ship. After hours of hard, physical labor Akihito's efforts had been crowned with success. The Titanic was sinking. [That much was to be suspected, ne?]  
  
As everybody had been expecting an iceberg to hit the ship at a much later point, the panicked mob fighting over places in the lifeboats was by no means acting. Izumi, who didn't want to take any risks at this point – the soccer season was about to begin – immediately started to organize his escape. Fortunately he was still wearing a dress and as he was also a minor, he had no trouble passing for a woman and a child. Once in a boat he contently leaned back and enjoyed the fireworks the numerous flare pistols were painting into the sky. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, strong arms grabbed him and pulled him back onto the sinking vessel. What the hell?! Looking up, he met Koji's accusing gaze. How had that idiot managed to free himself in such a short time?!  
  
"Let go of me, dammit! I must immediately get away from here if I want to make it to Japan in time for the first match! It's damned long way to be rowing, you know?! If those were at least pedal boats it'd be training for my legs but as things are..."  
  
"What is a first match compared to our love?! I know that you were afraid of those men before, but I really have to say that just taking off without me wasn't a very nice thing to do. Now come with me, love. Let's go somewhere where we can be alone."  
  
"Where we can be alone?! Are you nuts?! We are sinking! SINKING!! And you just ruined my chance to get into one of the lifeboats. Now you'd better see you find another way to get me out of here!"  
  
A rapt smile on his face, Koji took his beloved's hand. His Izumi was trusting him. He was asking him to rescue him! Unfortunately Koji had no idea of how to do this or where to go, so to cover for his lack of initiative, he just started running. Roughly pushing everybody out of the way, he made his way up the deck, all the time dragging his beloved with him. What were all those people doing there anyway?! And that priest – did he think he was in a church?! More or less uncaring Hirose watched his youngest brother's progress – that is, until he remembered hat those two still had his katana. Cursing, he started to run after them. At times like these he often wondered why he had people working for him at all. In the end he always had to do the dirty work himself anyway.  
  
"Freeze or I'll shoot you!"  
  
Hirose didn't know why he had just yelled that. He didn't have a gun and even less of an idea of how to use one. The Nanjo family was after all famous for their sword fighters, not their snipers. Now Koji seemed to be running even faster. Apparently he didn't think it beneath his older brother to actually carry out his threat – something, we have to admit, he wasn't entirely wrong about. Fortunately for Hirose the space on deck wasn't limitless so that at some point the other two just didn't have anywhere left to go. Gasping for breath, the firstborn Nanjo finally managed to voice his request, receiving nonplussed stares from two pairs of eyes. THAT was why he had been chasing them?! Desperately Izumi tried to remember where he had last seen the weapon – that damned sword had been just too heavy and unpractical and as he had realized after a few exercises that he just wasn't born a kendoka, Izumi had simply carried it around for the next couple of hours. When the bothersome weight had suddenly disappeared he hadn't wasted another thought on it.  
  
Though it gave him some difficulties as the ship was by now all but standing upright and he had to hold on to the railing with both hands, Hirose managed to tap his foot- how you could "just loose" a several centuries old and undoubtedly priceless katana was beyond him. Finally the dark-haired boy blushed furiously, coughed a few times, and finally admitted that the wanted weapon was probably in a car standing in one of the cargo rooms below deck. How it had ended there he refused to explain. Before Hirose could say anything to that, Koji, in a disputable attemptto spare his lover further embarrassment, swatted at his oldest brother's fingers and sent him falling into the sea. Judging by the singer's delight at hearing the other's screams it might have also been his revenge for being locked into his cabin earlier.  
  
Much to his own surprise Hirose landed quite softly – in Kurauchi's arms, that is. The loyal servant had, taking the Nanjo household's private yacht, immediately ridden to his master's rescue (no, the yacht isn't mentioned in the manga but with all the money they have I'd be surprised if there isn't one). In Hirose's head thoughts were racing: no ancient katana – no more kendo clan. No more kendo clan – no more need for an heir to it. No more heir – no more Koji. No more Koji – no more trouble. He'd finally lead the peaceful life he was entitled for!  
  
"Kurauchi! Start the motor! Forget about the shrimp cocktail, we are going home!"  
  
With that the white yacht turned and drove in direction of the sun that had miraculously decided to set a second time at two in the morning. The only things that hampered the romantic atmosphere were the yells of the drowning people and Akihito, who, holding to the anchor rope, loudly demanded to be pulled up. They left him where he was.  
  
In the meanwhile Koji and Izumi weren't having quite as fun a time. Strictly speaking they were in the ice water where Koji had managed to conquer a floating door. After half-drowning the old lady that had occupied it before, he made to arrange both himself and his beloved on the small piece of wood. In the end however he had to realize that even the biggest western doors just weren't meant to support for 1.90 m tall Japanese men. For a while the star-crossed lovers were floating peacefully until, at some point, Koji got aware of all the people staring at him. In the beginning he thought they were admiring his stunning good looks but as time went by even he noticed that something was wrong.  
  
"What is it? Why is everybody staring at me?!"  
  
"They are waiting for you to freeze to death." Izumi informed the stunned rock-star.  
  
"What?! We freeze to death?! Why hasn't anyone told me about this?!"  
  
"No, not WE freeze to death. YOU freeze to death. I survive and become a famous soccer player. And now just get it over with. Everybody is waiting to move on."  
  
"Out of the question. If you don't die, I won't die either! Do you hear me?! If Izumi doesn't go with me you might as well can the whole dying scene!"  
  
The directress preferred to not comment to this.  
  
As Koji carried out his threat and stubbornly refused to die, it was Izumi's turn to worry. More and more time went by and the day of his first match drew closer. If things stayed as they were he would miss it entirely and heaven knew those good-for-nothings in his team wouldn't make it without him. Finally the desperate boy leaned down and, blushing, whispered a few words into his lover's ear. What exactly he said has never been resolved yet the sentence is said to have started with 'If you get me back to Japan in time for my first match, I will...'. And so Koji, fueled by the energy reserved for semes hell bent on having sex, swam through the Atlantic, the Pacific and whatever other oceans separate England from Japan. Whether they arrived in time has yet to be determined.  
  
The End 


End file.
